Ask Dr Nerenberg | Health and Fitness

Vegetarians/vegans with a meat eating partner – how do you solve child nutrition questions?

I am vegetarian (but cannot drink milk) and my partner is eating average amounts of meat. We are planning to have children in near future.

1. But so far you get along well all those years, you as vegetarian and he eating meat, why should there be many new misunderstandings ? In a good relationship one should be able to peacefully discuss important things and find a more or less satisfying solution.

2. Most likely you will be the one fixing the meals? So as already pointed out, you can prepare fully vegetarian meals for the kids (especially when they are still small). Your partner will either not notice or he should not oppose much, if he is able to live peacefully with you as a vegetarian since this long (see also point 4 of my answer)

The kids can of course nibble at what dad is having too if they like, but their own meals will be vegetarian in the beginning. When they become older they can decide on their own what they want to eat. But by then they will also be old enough to understand why vegetarian food is good for health and all the other reasons.

3. Get some good books about vegetarian pregnancy and vegetarian children nutrition, so if there are any questions or misunderstandings you can back up all by scientific facts. Here are some examples:

* “Your Vegetarian Pregnancy” – http://www.amazon.com/Your-Vegetarian-Pregnancy-Month-Month/dp/0743224523/

* “Disease-Proof Your Child” – http://www.amazon.com/Disease-Proof-Your-Child-Feeding-Right/dp/0312338082/

* “Raising Vegetarian Children” – http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Vegetarian-Children-Health-Harmony/dp/0658021559/

* “Better Than Peanut Butter & Jelly: Quick Vegetarian Meals Your Kids Will Love!” – http://www.amazon.com/Better-Than-Peanut-Butter-Jelly/dp/1590131223/

* “The Vegetarian Family Cookbook” – http://www.amazon.com/Vegetarian-Family-Cookbook-Nava-Atlas/dp/0767913965/

4. Speak with your partner beforehand. Really, do it. Do not hide important things and hope it will stay unnoticed. This would only lead to arguments, because he would rightfully feel deceived. Explain why you want the kids to eat (mostly) vegetarian. If he understands and accepts you as a vegetarian he should be able to accept (mostly) vegetarian nutrition for children

5. It will be probably not possible to raise them fully vegetarian, but it should be very well possible to give them MOSTLY vegetarian food. I doubt that your partner will try to force you to feed meat and animal products to the children each day. First of all you show with your own example that it is good and works good for health. And second, if you can back up your opinion with examples of healthy vegetarian children he cannot deny your choice so easily. There should be mutual respect in a good relationship, and if you explain everything he should be able to understand and at least be able to agree to a compromise.

6. The only problem I can see is when your partner is eating meat and believing this would be “very healthy” or when there are any relatives who think that a child “cannot be denied meat”. Then it could maybe happen that the children are fed meat and animal products behind your back :-/ But I hope not, because this would be deceiving and disrespecting you, the same as feeding the children secretly vegetarian, without discussing the matter first, would be disrespectful towards your partner.

Man? Vegetarian Vs. Meat Eater, Nutrition by Natalie

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